Thoughts that God loves other people, provides for other people and is good to others, but not us (what a lie!); we can hate ourselves, but more often feel that we're not necessary, not important, not needed. Often sounds like our own voice.

Don't like affection, don't like to be touched. Don't like loving other people. Inability to receive in a meaningful way.

Produces a personality that is self-sufficient, perfectionist, being #1 but on the inside feeling clueless. Need to be great/right (see Is. 14:13-14 You said in your heart, "I will ascend to heaven; I will raise my throne above the stars of God; I will sit enthroned on the mount of assembly, on the utmost heights of the sacred mountain. I will ascend above the tops of the clouds; I will make myself like the Most High."). Walk in a room and feel self-conscious (because you have an unfulfilled need). Body image issues (susceptibility).

Often partners with a broken heart. (Proverbs 13:12 Hope deferred makes the heart sick) You "do love" because you have pictures in your mind of what it looks like, so you act it out, but you don't feel it and it isn't real to you. You never really feel loved. You can't genuinely give it or receive it. It's all happening on TV, in a way.
People-pleasing. Believing that we're to erase our needs, we constantly sacrifice ourselves, to our detriment. No healthy boundaries.

Torments and seeks to destroy so we can never give and receive love, maintaining a void in us. Can seem to others as neediness.

Soul Ties- (Extrabiblical! Conjecture!)
We were meant to relate to one another spirit-to-spirit, like we relate to God, but in our fallenness, we relate more soul-to-soul, only dealing with folks' minds, wills, and emotions. When we relate less on "what does God want for this relationship?" and more on "how do you make me feel? What do you do for me?", it's distorted and soulish and an inordinate affection happens. The affection isn't really for them, it's really for yourself. "We'd just get together and make out the whole time." That's soulish. We're not in the relationship for the kingdom or even for them; we're in it for ourselves, and seek to control the relationship to meet our needs. As you seek to own that person so that your needs get met, there is a mingling that happens so that a certain indistinguishability occurs. "I don't know who I am when I'm around her." Sex is ABOUT this mingling, and always produces soul ties outside marriage. Anything a psychologist would call an "enabling relationship" contains a soul tie. This meshing means you can't just walk away, there's always a tugging. The devil uses this impurity and this compromise as an inroad.

Unloving vs. Rejection - Self involved vs. Needing others. Different from normal perspective of self-centered: not necessary positive, just all about you.

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